Great Style

Trying to distract my toddlers as I checked my emails, I grabbed the box of Warhol Red Books on the shelf and let them go through the photos. I guess I'd forgotten that there was some pretty raunchy stuff in there! (Don't worry, they're too little to understand.) What I did notice as I was cleaning up, was a few unbelievably gorgeous images of 70s icon Marisa Berenson, looking Bain de Soleil tan somewhere on the Mediterranean, I presume. Now this is how I want to look this summer.

I'm baaaaack....and with a new drink

It's been months since my last entry, but since I only have a handful of friends who read my blog updates, I'm quite sure that I haven't been missed! I've been inspired by the movie "Julie & Julia" (as background noise) as I continuously run in to coax my sad, sick twins back to sleep every time they wake up crying. I think the character in the movie might have taken her blog a little too seriously, but she didn't have sick twins (or twins at all for that matter), but did wind up with a job or a book deal or something I predict. I have no such ambitions.

With the advent of my darling husband finishing our basement renovation which includes a face lifted bedroom, bathroom, playroom, and bar/second kitchen, I have some wonderful news: I've rediscovered a CLASSIC COCKTAIL!

Here's the recipe:
Vodka Gimlet II
1.5oz Vodka
1oz fresh lime juice
.5oz simple sugar syrup

Combine ingredients in cocktail shaker with ice. Shake. Strain into chilled martini glass.

Clearly there's a Vodka Gimlet I as well, that substitutes Rose's Lime for the fresh stuff, but don't even bother with that!

I've heard the martini saying that one's not enough and two's too many, and it's almost true for this treat as well. I find that one's not enough, two's not quite enough, and three's pretty much too many. I say: Have fun and enjoy responsibly.

Little devils, or just toddlers?

My once angelic 16-month-old girls are walking, talking a little, and raising a whole lotta hell. They're biting, pulling hair, and throwing food. Our pediatrician says that the violent behavior should be dealt with via a time-out of one minute separating the attacking twin. I'm not entirely in support of this method, but we're following her recommendation. I can deal with the girls doing things to each other, but it's a different story when they hurt friends. Just yesterday we had our twin playgroup+husbands for brunch. My girls, tired from missing their nap, were in attack mode. Needless to say, we'll be lucky if anyone wants to play with us in the future.

So now I'm looking for a solution to the food throwing. It's not making me that nuts, but it's driving my poor, very neat, Italian husband batty. The blogs give varying advice:

• slapping the child's hand(!)


• taking them out of the highchair, and making them clean up the thrown food


• removing the food, and making the toddler stay at the table until the family's finished


• doing nothing

I found this advice a little humorous, but not necessarily wrong:
"I invite you to take a step back and really think of why this is driving you insane. I have 4 kiddos. They all throw food over their chair at some point. They think it's funny. They are learning cause and effect. Really, she's not trying to be defiant....she's just learning. It's not fun to spend much of our time cleaning up after our little ones, I know. But it's part of the job and it will pass; and the time spent cleaning up little messes isn't that much time in the whole scope of things. I honestly don't recommend any discipline for this. I reccommend humor...and lots of it. You can say to her, "food is for eating, not throwing." in a calm no big deal way, then show her how to say "excuse me" or say "all done please". Then clean her up and get her down and be on her way to playing or whatever. Children are curious creatures. Choose your battles. Think about why you get upset about certain things. What is your belief about it, and why do you have that belief. I always tell moms to go within and listen to their inner wise loving mamma. She will always know what to do next. It's not easy, but take a big calming breath, look at your daughter and just smile. You are her example. This does not need fixing. It will pass:)
Best wishes in your parenting journey. Embrace that yummy spirit of your daughter.

In peace, A. mom of 4. Birth and Parenting Mentor www.birthingfromwithin.com"

I would like to believe that my twins are just experimenting with "cause & effect" (another theory), but the giggles and defiant looks they give me when they're tossing their food leads me to believe they're actually testing their adoring father and me. We're going to opt for a calm response like "no throwing food" and indicating that you say "I'm done, please" and then we'll remove the food. We'll see if it works.

The thing about being a parent is that every child is different. What works for one may not work for another. Yes, having a good sense of humor is key, and of course, whatever the current issue is will inevitably pass (as the peaceful mom of 4 from above stated). However, if you're a good parent you want to "do the right thing." You don't want to scar their little psche by being too strict, but you also don't want to create a menace to society. Do your research. See what others are doing and if it sounds good to you, then give it a try! But wait, don't try the corporal punishment solution....hello....they're only toddlers!

Nurseries

Decorating a nursery can seem a momentous task when you're an exhausted, hormonal, sometimes bed ridden mommy-to-be. I sometimes wish I'd given mine a bit more thought, but ce la vie, it turned out cute enough. Besides, what was the point considering what it would turn into? Picture this: 2 contemporary cribs (that haven't been slept in in months) flanking a queen mattress on the floor (this is where both babies actually sleep), a train table with blocks and Duplos, etc. We actually play in our nursery fairly often.

Although my nursery in no way resembles these images, I did actually use them for inspiration!

I love this room for being gender neutral and having the mini Barcelona chair that I covet.


Most parents don't have the nerve to use a lot of black in a nursery, but the black wall, striped ceiling, white floor, and Nelson Bubble Lamp, make this very modern and bit preppy at the same time.

Clearly, for slightly older children, I love the eclectic look of this room. it's contemporary yet a little folky.

This is Interior Designer Julie Richards son's nursery that I discovered on La Dolce Vita's blog http://paloma81.blogspot.com/2009/05/personal-style-defined-julie-of-shelter.html. Also check out Julie's blog http://shelterinteriordesign.blogspot.com/ for more amazing ideas.


This nursery is exactly what I love: an adult living space that works for an infant. The chaise is where you'd read stories and cuddle, the artwork and its gallery-look is quite sophisticated, and I adore the Netto crib. The chalkboard paint along the walls is a cute touch for what you'd imagine is the bedroom of a future artist. This room looks unisex which is great for those parents who want to be surprised.

I'm not a join-er?

I can only assume that being a twin mom is certainly a little different than mothering singletons. For example, I spent the months prior to giving birth trying to figure out how to have enough contraptions (bouncers, jumpers, exersaucers, boppys, carseats, strollers, etc.) so that I would always have a place to put my twins, so that my hands would always be free in case one baby had an emergency. The babies didn't seem to mind, and in fact, seemed quite happy all of the time.

My twins do many things at the same time. This includes, teething, pooping (yes, they nearly always have bowel movements within minutes of each other), eating, bathing, and many milestones seem to happen within days of each other, and I'm looking forward to many more.

However, they've had individual personalities from the beginning, and now that they've reached their 1-year mark, Sienna's already toddling around, and Sophie's still scooting (she doesn't crawl traditionally, but scoots on her bottom) alongside her sister. Sophie loves her pacifier and Sienna doesn't care about it other than at bedtime.

I embrace having twins. Many days I dress them alike, mostly because I think it's funny and it's also just easier to buy two of everything. I'm not even put off by the incessant attention we receive when we are in public. I can only liken it to walking around with a celebrity. At first it was a little off-putting, but seeing babies really seems to make people happy. Only occasionally will I get an obnoxious reference to a creepy Jack Nicholson thriller with a scary pair of twin ghosts.

Despite all this I eschewed joining the local chapter of the Twins Club. Since pregnancy people have basically harassed me about joining. They'd tell me it's "incredible support" and that I'd need it. But I felt like if I got a night out, I'd prefer to spend it having dinner & a drink with some real friends, trying to feel like a human being for just a couple of hours. Once I was accosted by two separate Mother of Twins while standing in line at Trader Joe's . One turns to me and says, "are you a member of the twin group?" To which I replied, "I'm not really a join-er."

Hmmmm...I'm "not really a join-er"????? I never really played a sport, joined a sorority, or the like. It's not as if I walk to the beat of a different drummer, but in some ways maybe I thought I wouldn't be good enough? Who knows, I'm not a psychotherapist, but I just knew I was sick of all these women bothering me about their group.

Here's what I pictured: A bunch of post-partum women, sitting around the basement of a church, drinking coffee (this part I like), and complaining about how they never get enough sleep, and how their husbands never help.

Fortunately, I had no such issues (okay, maybe I'm a little tired and my back always hurts), and have always felt that misery is quite contagious.

Fast forward 12 months, and I realize that mothering twins can be quite isolating, and your long-time girlfriends rarely bring their kids to play or invite us over. Who can really blame them, we're a handful. I was convinced by another mother of twins to JOIN the group. Not for the meeting or support or any of that business, but to get into the Twin Tag Sale a whole two hours earlier than the general public! It was totally worth it. Additionally, I opted to join a playgroup with other twin moms and their kids. I think that I'd misjudged the group.....from what I hear, they seem to be welcoming, kind, informed, supportive, and a wonderful resource for new twin moms. Maybe I am a join-er!

A Thoughful Gift

I received the loveliest housewarming gift from a girlfriend who recently came to visit. She's now working for a swank New York gallery/bookstore, and she brought me a print from one of their recent installations. It's from a series called "Storefront" from husband/wife photographers James ands Karla Murray who documented the disappearing mom & pop storefronts from in and around NYC.

She gifted me "Richard's Barbershop." It's truly a timeless gift!


http://clicgallery.com/info/2009-07-murray/


http://www.clicgallery.com/locations/index.htm

Connecticut's Quiet Corner

Having a baby (make that babies) can be a bit isolating, which is why you need interesting friends. If they live states away, all the better for babies to nap. I've started driving to my friend Hillary's Connecticut home at least once a month. I adore her son, and her style!


Hillary and her young family relocated from Providence where she was a boutique owner (my neighbor on Thayer Street) for a quiet and peaceful existence in this quintessentially New England place. The colonial home they purchased has mature gardens and grounds and a house that has a soul, having sheltered people for over 200 years.




They made some upgrades and made the house work for them, while essentially maintaining its colonial history. I really appreciate that ability in a non-professional designer since it's so easy to get side-tracked (my own pitfall when it comes to decorating). The floors are original, and the walls still look remarkable. The couple did a kitchen update, and yes, there's a plasma on the wall. Even though it's a very old home, it feels like a young family has breathed a new life into it. the family entertains often, taking advantage of their phenomenal patio and gardens.


Farmers markets, neighbors stopping in, weekend guests, dinner in the gardens. Hillary's husband calls their life in the Quiet Corner wholesome, and it sure looks that way. Where can I sign up?