Little devils, or just toddlers?

My once angelic 16-month-old girls are walking, talking a little, and raising a whole lotta hell. They're biting, pulling hair, and throwing food. Our pediatrician says that the violent behavior should be dealt with via a time-out of one minute separating the attacking twin. I'm not entirely in support of this method, but we're following her recommendation. I can deal with the girls doing things to each other, but it's a different story when they hurt friends. Just yesterday we had our twin playgroup+husbands for brunch. My girls, tired from missing their nap, were in attack mode. Needless to say, we'll be lucky if anyone wants to play with us in the future.

So now I'm looking for a solution to the food throwing. It's not making me that nuts, but it's driving my poor, very neat, Italian husband batty. The blogs give varying advice:

• slapping the child's hand(!)


• taking them out of the highchair, and making them clean up the thrown food


• removing the food, and making the toddler stay at the table until the family's finished


• doing nothing

I found this advice a little humorous, but not necessarily wrong:
"I invite you to take a step back and really think of why this is driving you insane. I have 4 kiddos. They all throw food over their chair at some point. They think it's funny. They are learning cause and effect. Really, she's not trying to be defiant....she's just learning. It's not fun to spend much of our time cleaning up after our little ones, I know. But it's part of the job and it will pass; and the time spent cleaning up little messes isn't that much time in the whole scope of things. I honestly don't recommend any discipline for this. I reccommend humor...and lots of it. You can say to her, "food is for eating, not throwing." in a calm no big deal way, then show her how to say "excuse me" or say "all done please". Then clean her up and get her down and be on her way to playing or whatever. Children are curious creatures. Choose your battles. Think about why you get upset about certain things. What is your belief about it, and why do you have that belief. I always tell moms to go within and listen to their inner wise loving mamma. She will always know what to do next. It's not easy, but take a big calming breath, look at your daughter and just smile. You are her example. This does not need fixing. It will pass:)
Best wishes in your parenting journey. Embrace that yummy spirit of your daughter.

In peace, A. mom of 4. Birth and Parenting Mentor www.birthingfromwithin.com"

I would like to believe that my twins are just experimenting with "cause & effect" (another theory), but the giggles and defiant looks they give me when they're tossing their food leads me to believe they're actually testing their adoring father and me. We're going to opt for a calm response like "no throwing food" and indicating that you say "I'm done, please" and then we'll remove the food. We'll see if it works.

The thing about being a parent is that every child is different. What works for one may not work for another. Yes, having a good sense of humor is key, and of course, whatever the current issue is will inevitably pass (as the peaceful mom of 4 from above stated). However, if you're a good parent you want to "do the right thing." You don't want to scar their little psche by being too strict, but you also don't want to create a menace to society. Do your research. See what others are doing and if it sounds good to you, then give it a try! But wait, don't try the corporal punishment solution....hello....they're only toddlers!